The Week Before I Turn 61
Okay, so I'm preparing my article for next week. It's the week before my birthday. I'm going to be 61 years old. I want to do a little bit of a revision of what the last 12 months—or probably 18 months—have been in my life since my mother passed, and how I see that I'm taking charge of many things that were there, but I was not focusing on.
I just want to go deep into all the decisions that I've been making, and where I feel that my life could be leading. Although I don't have any clear direction. The direction is really about how to become completely free. How not to comply, how to study as much as I can, the laws of nature, the fake codes, so I can learn, process, synthesize, experience and then give back.
Because my aim is really to be an emanation of spirit—through my acts, through my work, through my encounters. I want to be able to support the world with my presence. And that's very lofty, but at the same time it needs to be taken care of. It needs a lot of nurturing.
The Dance of Mars and Pluto
This current dance between Pluto in Aquarius and Mars in Leo has traced a long arc—three passes where they oppose each other over the last few months, the first echoing back to the beginning of November, when Mars was still in Cancer and Pluto in Capricorn. Then, on January third, Pluto at 1° Aquarius confronted Mars Rx at 1° Leo. But it’s this final pass that I feel most deeply. It’s the final confrontation between the desire to act and the desire to evolve—action in relationship to creation, to the validation of the individual, and to the harmony that may exist in a collective or tribal setting.
This energy, though extreme, will be felt differently depending on the frequency you are vibrating. If you’re still on a boat steered1 by someone other than you, the waters can be rocky—and capsizing is a fear to take seriously. If you’re halfway to the other shore, then trust your decisions have followed spirit and you are protected. And if you are on the other side of victimhood and disempowerment, and have gathered the strength to be your damn self—unapologetically—well done, fellow warrior. The battlefield is just a field of opportunities, where creativity opens new ways of being. It is a battleground between collective and individual desires to be resonating. I am everything but afraid, to be honest.
This third pass squares my natal Jupiter exactly, creating a T-square in fixed signs. Before something has to give, I’d rather read the memo: that it's my perspective (Jupiter in Taurus) that needs to be seen differently. And with the New Moon on my birthday (4/27), also part of this T-square, falling on my natal Sun/Mercury conjunction, the message is clear: new ways of approaching how I want to be seen and validated—authentically. Even though it marks a new beginning, the Venus–Saturn-North Node conjunction in the last degrees of Pisces reminds me—as the ruler of my stellium in Taurus—that without knowing my needs and values, I can’t proceed to embody a new perspective with awareness.
What Uranus in Taurus has done since 2018 is give the rhythm—shock and awe—and never let things, situations, or people feel too comfortable. As it sits natally in my 7th house of relationships, it is through its erratic nature that I’ve been forced to shift and evolve, shift and evolve. Deeply. Uranus in Taurus doesn’t give a break to those of us who would like to be “comfy.” My Moon in Scorpio will make sure we dive deep, even if only for a short time. As Uranus keeps transiting my fourth house, home is where erratic behavior occurs—so yes, move, move…
Pluto carries the force of evolution itself. In Aquarius, it brings collective transformation—of systems, power structures, technologies, and ideals. Mars in Leo, on the other hand, speaks to personal will, to the fire of individuality. When they oppose, they stretch the axis between the group and the self—between the pressure to conform and the courage to stand apart. I personally believe we can create extraordinary outcomes as free individuals, as long as we do not succumb to the stress and pressures of collective programming.
I’ve lived that polarity in my body. I’ve seen the subtle ways in which the collective wants to swallow the individual—how easy it is to confuse disempowerment with compromise, and how silence sometimes masquerades as civility. This time they will meet at my Ascendant–Descendant axis on the 12th–6th houses: my subconscious still needs to reveal and transform worldviews, as I intend my creations can be of service only if I am 100% authentic. Otherwise, you could call my bluff….
But I’ve also seen the cost. When you suppress the self in order to belong, you don’t just lose your voice—you lose your frequency. And then you wonder why life feels muted.
This transit—Pluto facing off with Mars, squaring my Jupiter—has shown me where I’ve clung to old ideas of freedom, of how I want to be seen, of what I thought expression meant. It’s softened me, but it’s also refined me. I no longer ask to be recognized. I ask if I’m aligned.
I don’t fear the collective. But I no longer let it define me.
Bring it on!
The Tightrope
Each morning begins at the edge. One foot finds the wire. Breath finds rhythm. Arms extend—sensing. The body listens. The line responds.
This is the margin.
The exact place where life happens.
Where one step forward carries weight.
Where the next move is real.
Every step costs something: a layer of identity, a pattern that once protected. The cost is movement. Refinement. Presence.
Economists speak of the cost at the margin—the value exchanged for the next unit. I live it as a walk: precise, embodied, tuned. Free of projections. Clear of drama. Just the clarity of the step.
The rope holds when I do.
The field opens when I trust the geometry of motion.
And that motion, held with care, becomes the broadcast of sovereignty.
⸻
The Edge Where Value Emerges
Margin comes from the Latin margo—the border, the edge, the place where one thing ends and another begins. In the ancient world, it marked the outer rim of a manuscript or a field. In decision-making, it marks the threshold—the place of possibility.
Austrian economics2 took that word and placed it exactly where it belongs: at the moment of choice.
Carl Menger called value a perception, not a property. It exists inside the actor, not in the object. There’s no such thing as objective value in this system. There is only what you value now—at this margin.
“Value does not exist outside the consciousness of man. It is not inherent in things. It is a judgment.”
— Carl Menger, Principles of Economics (1871)
Chapter III — The Theory of Value
Ludwig von Mises took it further. In Human Action, he showed that every choice implies a cost—the opportunity cost—the next-best alternative you leave behind. That cost is always measured at the margin: not in total, but in the next step, the next unit, the next breath.
“Means are graded according to their marginal utility.”
— Ludwig von Mises, Human Action: A Treatise on Economics
Chapter: Part One — Human Action,
Section 4: Ends and Means
Austrian economics deals in decisions, not averages. One at a time. Real. Personal. Embodied.
This is exactly the territory Taurus season that just opened: the season of value—as sensation, as embodiment, as action. Taurus teaches through contrast: what’s aligned strengthens. What’s out of tune resists. The body always knows. The frequency never lies. Real value is rooted. It’s present. It shows up in the decisions you make when no one is watching—in how you hold the rope, in how you move and how you tend to your needs.
Yesterday I flew to NYC just for a day—to see Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds live. I’ve been a longtime fan, and I didn’t want to miss this one. The last tour passed me by—VAXX card requirements kept me from going. So this time, I booked the flight, made the move, and followed the pull.
It’s the morning after now. I’m still at the hotel with the echoes of the tunes, sun shining through the window, and what stays with me is this: I chose presence. I decided not to hold up my camera and document it. Only at the very end did I take out my phone and briefly press record for a song or two. What I wanted was the real presence of being in Brooklyn for a night as a gift to my 61st birthday—to feel Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds fill the space, to be fully there with Warren Ellis and the band as they opened that field.
A conscious cost. It felt like a margin moment. Trying to save it for later was not a choice, but spending the value of that moment in the now. That’s what emergence means to me—choosing presence over preservation, aliveness over proof. A lot of these recorded moments during Neptune in Pisces for the last 14 years, especially for social media, have trained humans to be performing instead of living a reality. Now the choice is what to feel 100% and what needs to be documented. The choice is how to save in hard money, how to educate myself in the language of freedom.
I am an optimist. Even in a world thick with polarization, I always aim for a third way—one I might miss if I’m too busy preserving an image of the past or chasing certainty about the future.
So I leave you with this: may you find a middle way. Always a middle way as the Buddha says...
Living in Geometry
The vessel is nurtured when ready
Gate 27 has been with me since birth—part of my Incarnation Cross in human design: 27.6–28.6 / 19.2–33.2. Sun and Mercury in 27.6, Jupiter, the Pearl in 27.2. It’s etched into how I see, how I wait, how I respond. The sixth line takes time—it holds. It observes from altitude, reads the pattern, and engages when there’s commitment from the other side. That has always been the frequency. I’ve learned through the absence of care. My Sacral is undefined, the energy is not constant, I chose how to spend it wisely—I’m not meant to be sustained by others. I had to learn to feed myself, stabilize myself, choose where my care flows. The path has been winding and uneven, but the refinement is there. I’ve learned to hold energy until it moves on its own.
The second line in the Pearl—my Jupiter in the personality crystal—carries a direct transmission of natural power. It waits to be called out. It resonates when the field is correct. That’s how it operates. I step in when the pattern calls me. Until then, I refine. I am busy in my hermit uniform. I let the energy concentrate. Care is presence.
Gate 27 carries weight. It protects, it nourishes, it endures—selectively, for what holds value. When rooted, it overflows. When scattered, it fragments. I’ve lived both. I’ve carried the tribe when I didn’t yet have language. I held responsibility before I could name it.
Gate 50 holds the tribal values—the instinct to sustain the group. But in its shadow (as the shadow of a hanging 27th gate), it stays too long. It tolerates misalignment. It fears exclusion. I know that shadow. I lived there. I endured, adapted, overextended. That’s way gone. It has been transformed wisely into tending to my needs—how much I love the word tending, tenderness. Carrying alignment, holding coherence. Offering care that sustains the possibility to meet the right frequency. Patterns and fractals will appear before anyone that connects to the impact I bring as a Manifestor—just with my presence, my writings, my book, my artwork. Everything I synthesize meets that wavelength when I am tuning to my own self-nurturing.
Funny enough, I have been called selfish forever. Now I don’t react to it, for I know I am doing what is best for my design. Once I fulfill—and the recipient is also based and grounded—they will never call me selfish. They benefit from my abundant care.
This year, the Sun returns to 27.6, on my birthday and with the Pluto + mars opposition squaring this gate—echoing with it the journey of the Right Angle Cross of the Unexpected, a path filled with surprising twists and turns. Possessing leadership, a protective nature, an openness to explore the depths of life, and an ease with the concept of reduction to allow for new experiences. Despite the unpredictability of the path, we can learn resilience through adversity, cultivate growth, and build a sense of profound purpose.
Fixed signs, fixed geometry. A frequency I’ve always carried, now fully activated. Transiting Pluto sits in gate 41.2, Mars in 31.2, Earth in 28.6. the Sun at 27.6 is care that listens for timing. It speaks through presence. It directs attention toward what lasts—performing and standing in precision. Mars pushes for initiation. Pluto channels transformation. Earth sharpens purposeful behavior. Together they form a crucible. And in the center, I stand. I take the tension—I hold the field until I move with perspective, yield to evolution. This transit is also happening to the collective. It coincides with my solar return, so this is the energy for my 2025-26 season.
Living the geometry. 90° and 45° create harmonic tension—intervals that generate the spiral, the inner mutation. The numbers I created in my recent commission are all made of 45°, and in musical intervals, these are the points where options emerge.
"In the study of the structure of the universe... music, in its very essence, is based on the law of octaves and intervals—where the shock points create potential for transformation."
—G.I. Gurdjieff
Freedom as Frequency
For the collective, this configuration marks a shift. Emotional desire requires form. Leadership rises only through authentic recognition. Meaning becomes the filter. Care becomes the structure.
Feel like rushing forward? No. Take some space. Mercury and Neptune just met in Aries, and you need to decipher the codes that were given. Decoding is a fun game. Stand firmly in the field of value and self-worth. Of coherent care. Of truth in action.
The care I extend is no longer a resource I give—it’s a frequency I become. And that frequency, when held properly, becomes the template for others to attune.
Gate 28 in Earth grounds this whole configuration into existential purpose. And that’s what I return to—every day, all the time: the purpose of being alive. Not to be needed. Not to be praised. But to live in integrity so that every gesture, every word, every silence becomes a reflection of care that is unshakable.
I walk with rhythm. I speak from care. I lead by standing. I nourish by being.
As for you, my dear friend—what is shaking your ground lately? How have you been adapting or challenged? Have you given yourself the time to reflect and to feel the next months as potential thresholds for evolution?
Because every step forward asks for something. That’s the cost at the margin—not in theory, but in real life. Not in total, but in the next gesture, the next truth, the next choice you make with presence.
Guys… evolution never happened under a disco ball.
Coda: For my one-day trip to Brooklyn to see Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, I have to confess—I wore a very stylish suit (seen above) I’ve had in my closet for 20 years. I know how much style means to Nick, and I wanted to be dressed for the occasion. 👆 Listen to this wonderful interview with the great Bella Freud—
A long dark night is coming down
Oh music, my muse, wavelengths that resonate with my fragile soul and reverberate along with my courageous heart—the unknown, the threshold, the journey, the excitement, the farewell, the new visions…
It’s Not a Code, It’s a Codex
As I publish the article I wrote several days ago, the cosmic reality of these energies is becoming clear.
Govern, Metaphorically "guide, governor"), from kybernan "to steer or pilot a ship, direct as a pilot," figuratively "to guide, govern," which is of uncertain origin.
In Keynesian economics, marginal cost is typically treated as a technical, production-based calculation—how much it costs to produce one additional unit of output. It’s often modeled using aggregate supply and demand curves, focusing on optimizing output, employment, and managing short-term fluctuations in the economy. Unlike the Austrian view, which grounds marginal cost in subjective value and individual choice, Keynesian analysis treats it as a function of external conditions—such as wage rates, input costs, or government policy—rather than personal perception or lived experience.
Share this post